Now he didn't say..."wife you are fat". what he said was "look at this chick she was super fat then she got super skinny" and i noticed that the "super fat" chick was way smaller then me. and I though... :/ he thinks im super fat. being the brash young lady that I am I piped up with "dear, she is smaller then me at her fattest" and he was like "uhhh.... huh" which is code for "gosh im caught".
This would explain alot...
So I need to lose weight. I just had a BABY, even though its been a year it took me six months to stop bleeding. thats a long time. then three months after that to get my full mobility back. This was a big baby and it kicked my butt (chances are he will be an only child... didn't expect recover to take so long) So I have been functioning in a normal capacity for three months or so. I have been trying to diet but I dunno how well thats going. I'm losing like one friggin pound ever two weeks.. I know I can do better.
im really fat.
blah.
what he doesn't understand is that i have dreams of being fit and active. i have always wanted to run a marathon.. :/ and stuff. like all i want in life is to be a real runner. and when i do run i feel the best i have ever felt. He gets on me cause he can go to the gym (he is a stay at home dad) and stuff. and when i get home from work and throw on dinner and all that jazz.. im pooped. and yes i do laundry and tidy and run after the little one.
I just don't know where ima fit in time.
excuses excuses.....
im so depressed i wanna jump off a friggin bridge.
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